"You know it's apparently lucky," has undoubtedly been said to you if you've had the misfortune to have bird droppings land on you, and talking from experience it doesn't feel very lucky. At best it lands on your clothes and you need to wash them when you get home. Worst case scenario is that it lands in your hair or on your skin and you need a scrub as thorough as someone who has recently visited Chernobyl. It's not just bird poo you need to clean off your car, though - CAR has a whole list, which we consider to be the best car cleaning products.
The same can be said for your car. At best it lands on the windscreen and you can cut through it with some screenwash to avoid you looking at bird dung. If it lands on your paintwork, however, then it's a race to get it off as soon as possible because nothing ruins a car's paintwork quicker than bird poo. Once it's off you might want to give your car a full clean, we've rounded up the best all-purpose cleaners car cleaners.
The best bird dropping removers at a glance:
Editor's pick: Supaguard Bird and Bug Remover - Buy from Amazon
Best bird poo removal wipes: Autoglym Bird Dropping Removal Wipes - Buy from Amazon
Best value bird poo remover: Greased Lightning Bug Buster - Buy from Amazon
We've recommended a selection of the best bird-dropping removers on the market, perfect for when you leave your car parked under a tree and a bird uses your bonnet for a number two.
The best bird dropping removers
Editor's pick
Wiping away bird droppings couldn't get much simpler. Simply spray the disgusting culprit, wait for a few minutes, and wipe it away. The kit comes with a 500ml spray bottle and a microfibre cloth - handy since Supaguard claim that a small bird can poop around 100 times a day (what do they eat!?)
Consumer reviews report that the bird droppings simply melt away after using the Supaguard, and waiting time seems to vary between 1-7 minutes.
Pros
- Easy to use
- Very effective
- Comes with microfibre cloth
Cons
- 500ml can be chewed through quickly
Best bird poo removal wipes
Via AutoglymThis pack of 10 wipes are the ideal way to remove bird droppings with ease. Simply place the wipe on top of a dropping, allow it to soften then just wipe away. Also remember these wipes are only good for fresh droppings, not hardened options. What we don't like is the wasteful nature of wipes.
This option clinches our top spot because the wipe contains everything you need and is so handy to have on the go. While it's no good for removing old poo, it's the most effective option for use on the go, where most aerial attacks occur. There's no need for extra products and it means you can remove the dropping before it's done any real damage.
Pros
- Perfect for use on the go
- Good value for money
Cons
- Wipes aren’t the most eco-friendly option
- No good on hardened poo
Best bird dropping spray
Via PoorboysIf wipes aren't what you're after, or you're needing to dislodge a particularly hardened secretion, then your best bet is a spray like this one from Poorboys. Spray onto the waste and leave for a few minutes, and it should dislodge it. Poorboys recommend using a microfibre cloth to collect the leavings, so remember to wash it thoroughly after use.
While this spray does require an extra product to wipe away the dropping, its ability to remove older, more embedded bird dirt makes it an excellent choice still. It's an ideal product for keeping in the garage for larger jobs.
Pros
- Powerful on all types of poo
Cons
- You need a microfibre cloth
Best eco-friendly bird poo remover
Via NunshineIf you're wanting to be more eco-minded then a water-based, solvent-free option is the best bet. Nushine has you covered with this eco-friendly product that works similar to the Poorboys spray but claims to act in 30 seconds.
Reviews are split between it working wonders or needing a good few sprays to lift the most stubborn of stools, but it does seem to work and won't harm the environment.
Pros
- Designed for all types of poo
- Eco-friendly formula
Cons
- You need a microfibre cloth
Best bird poo remover for other contaminants
Via Simonizwww.eurocarparts.com
It's not just birds who do a doo-doo on your car, insects can do just as much as birds can, and if it's in a garage with spiders a-plenty, then you can find yourself with droppings all over. Having a dropping remover which will break down the deposits quickly but still be kind to your paintwork is handy. Step forward Simoniz insect and bird dropping remover.
Pros
- Cleans spider poo too
- Contains Active Ingredients
Cons
- Cheap spray nozzle
Best value bird poo remover
Via Greased LightningIt's easy to chew through 500ml of bird poo remover, especially if you've parked under a cherry tree. Greased Lightning's Bug Buster comes in a generous one-litre bottle and is nearly as good as the Poorboy's spray above. Therefore, it lasts a decent amount of time.
We've tested the Greased Lightning range and found it to be rather good. With it, you can give your car a complete and waterless clean if you wish.
Pros
- Great value
- Big one-litre bottle
Cons
- Trigger isn’t terribly ergonomic
Best large bird dropping wipes
Via Soft99Offering eight wipes in a pack and designed to tackle dead insects as well as bird droppings, this pack of wipes from SOFT99 is a solid option to keep in the glovebox for a splattery emergency. The wipes are a nice big size which makes clearing large messes convenient. The formula is effective at lifting embedded marks, it's just a pity the number of wipes included is stingy.
Pros
- Nice big wipes for cleaning big messes
- Environmentally designed
Cons
- Only eight wipes in a pack
Bird dropping removers FAQs:
How do I remove bird excrement from my car?
The key to removing bird faeces is to do it as quickly as possible. Fresh poo is easier to clean up and shouldn't cause any major paint issues. The longer it's there, the greater chance you'll be left with a permanent stain. After you've dealt with the bird droppings, you won't have to spend too much cash on a cleaning kit to keep your car looking fresh. All bird dropping removers work differently so it's best to read the instructions before spraying or wiping away. What you should always do however is be careful with how much elbow grease you apply when removing the bird leavings, older defecations can scratch the paintwork if you're too rough in your removal.
Why is bird poo so damaging to paintwork?
A lot of science has been done to determine what actually causes bird droppings to damage your car's paint. For years, acidity was to blame but Autoglym has debunked this. Instead, evidence suggests that the damage is done by the paint lacquer contracting and moulding to the shape of the dropping.
How can I prevent my car from being covered in dirt poop?
Especially after you've just washed your car properly using a mitt, it's a bit of a lottery as to whether your car will become the next target for a bird's toilet habits. But there are certain things you can do to prevent it as much as possible. If you've ever been to a pub car park, there will inevitably be an abandoned car parked under a tree that appears to have been repainted by the birds. For this reason, try and avoid parking your car directly under trees, especially during summer. Also, keeping your car in a garage or under a carport will stop birds from targeting your car as much as possible.
Ryan Gilmore is the Deputy Autos and Tools Editor for CAR, specialising in car cleaning and hand tools. With an MA in Automotive Journalism, when he's not testing buckets he can be found looking at old Porsches.